I wish I could punch you in the face.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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