were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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