well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
