another moral hangover. fuck.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
