Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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