New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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