I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
