her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
