dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
