i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I could make wine with my vomit
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Randomize
