I think my vagina is haunted
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
