I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
