just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
