were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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