rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
