oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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