been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
