I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
