The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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