Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
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She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
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Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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