So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
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all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
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Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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