Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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