I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
