I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
