I am in a vortex of obligation.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
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