In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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