those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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