I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Michael Bay diarrhea
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
