ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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