holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
