I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
