i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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