who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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