so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
