so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
