Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
