i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize