Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize