Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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