I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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