Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
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Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
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I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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