you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
