So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You are the jesus of drinking
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My vagina just clenched in fear
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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