I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
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There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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