evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
