i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
