he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
