i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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