My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
