I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
