Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The power of my boobs compel you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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