No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
