You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize