Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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