i need an iv and a liver transplant
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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