That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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