Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
