We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
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i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
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So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!