if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING