Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
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I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
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want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.