google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.