Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
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I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
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I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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