Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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