I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
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She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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