My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.