whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
