i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
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