been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
