God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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