Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize