There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
