Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
